The Vegetarian Wedding

From Peshawar we backtracked to a small town called Hassanabdal. There's no reason why tourists would ever visit, but we'd been invited to a wedding. And weddings are just the short ½ day affairs that they are at home. We spent 4 days of non-stop celebrations with the Khan family. It was one of the most intense things I've ever experienced. Paul and I didn't see each other for more than 10 mins a day because the men & women were totally separate. I slept in a room with 11 other women and children. Not once over the 4 days did I have even 10 seconds to myself. There were always people around wanting to chat (in Urdu). Out of the approximately 150 female wedding guests, who were almost permanently at the house, only 2 could speak enough English to have a decent conversation! Never fear though, word spread quickly enough that I was a world famous palm reader, so there were at least 10 hands waiting not-so patiently around me, waiting for me to announce their destiny. It was thoroughly exhausting, but very interesting. I managed to cajole one of the English speakers into helping me, so they translated what I was saying.

Palm Reading...

The women whose palms I was reading would open up & tell me everything about their lives. I heard all about the tough times that these women are dealing with; one with a husband slowly going blind so he can't work anymore (and you can forget about healthcare or government benefit), the wife didn't know what to do AND she had a child with a severe heart problem. Another woman whose husband had been murdered for money with a hammer. Another woman whose husband had taken a second wife and the wives weren't getting on. Another who'd been married into a family of only men, no sisters, and none of the brothers were married, so it was her responsibility to cook & clean for the whole family, and she was getting hassle from her mother-in-law because they'd been married a year & she hadn't had any children yet .

The wedding ceremony

The endless wedding ceremonies were also fascinating. Lots of dancing in circles around musicians, lots of parading to other women's houses for more dancing there. Henna parties, Pot-on-head dancing ceremonies, petal throwing party, food and some more dancing for good measure . I called it the Vegetarian Wedding, because getting veggie food was a bit of a trial. All the rice had meat in it & there wasn't a vegetable in sight. One night they didn't serve dinner until 1.30am (the last meal had been lunch)! There wasn't so much as a green leaf in sight, but still, having a grumbling tummy was worth it for the experience. The other ceremony, which I was present for but didn't watch, was the slaughtering of the goat. The bride doesn't come to the groom's house (where she'll now live) until the 3 rd day of the wedding. When she crosses the threshold a goat is killed in her honour (I think). The goat isn't eaten by the family, but given to poor people. I knew that it was going to be a once in a lifetime photo-op & it was going to be a wonderful picture, but I just couldn't force the vegetarian in me to watch, not even in the name of art.

Another strange thing about the wedding (although the list is endless) is the presence of beggars at the wedding. For virtually the whole duration of the wedding, poor people were in the family's homes begging from you, some in a mildly aggressive way. They are given money, as is customary in accordance with Islam but it was a very strange sight. Can you imagine homeless people crashing a wedding at home, it would be scandalous, but here's it's accepted.

BY: Jenny